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CHARACTERS

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PAUL18

Paul in 1983, aged 18. He is a milkman at the Co-op dairy and a member of The Molokos, a punk rock band.

JOHN18

John in 1983, aged 18. He is a milkman at the Co-op dairy and a member of The Molokos, a punk rock band.

PAUL50

Paul in the present, aged in his fifties, a successful businessman.

JOHN50

John in the present, aged in his fifties, a successful businessman.

JACKSON

Mrs. Jackson, manageress at the Co-op dairy in 1983.

RENATA

Renata, the typist in the office at the Co-op dairy in 1983.

SCENE 1. STUDIO. PRESENT DAY.

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PAUL50	(TO MIC) It was 1983. I was eighteen and there were three things I loved almost as much as life itself – being a milkman, Renata and playing bass guitar in a punk rock band called The Molokos. Most of us worked at the Co-op dairy.  There was me, Paul.
JOHN50	(TO MIC) And me, John, on lead guitar.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) George on rhythm guitar.
JOHN50	(TO MIC) And Albert on drums.
PAUL50	(TO JOHN50) And the singer, don’t forget the singer.
JOHN50	(TO MIC) Oh, yeah. Janice. She worked at the corner shop.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) It was love at first sight for me with Renata.
JOHN50	(TO PAUL 50) It wasn’t for her, though.

SCENE 2. THE OFFICE AT THE CO-OP DAIRY. 1983.

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PAUL18	I’ve got a present for you, Renata.
RENATA	What is it, Paul?
PAUL18	Two hundred milk checks.
RENATA	You’re weird.
PAUL18	Why?
RENATA	Getting up at the crack of dawn to ride round in a contraption you could walk faster than to drop bottles of milk on people’s doorsteps.
PAUL18	I don’t drop them. I place them, careful like. And I have to pick the empties up. And the milk checks. And collect the money at the end of the week.
RENATA	Like I said: weird.

SCENE 3. STUDIO. PRESENT DAY.

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PAUL50	(TO MIC) Mrs. Jackson used to tease her about me.
JOHN50	(TO PAUL50) The manageress?
PAUL50	Yeah. Do you remember her?

SCENE 4. THE OFFICE AT THE CO-OP DAIRY. 1983.

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JACKSON	Loverboy’ll be here any minute, Renata.
RENATA	He’s not my loverboy.
JACKSON	He wishes he was.

PAUL18 ENTERS.

JACKSON	He’s here now.
PAUL18	I’ve brought you another present, Renata.
RENATA	Don’t tell me – more milk checks.
PAUL18	How’d you guess?
RENATA	I must be psychic.
PAUL18	What you doing tonight?
RENATA	Washing my hair.
PAUL18	Why don’t you come to our band practice?
RENATA	I’m washing my hair.
PAUL18	Your loss.

SCENE 5. STUDIO. PRESENT DAY.

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JOHN50	We all thought you’d never get off with her.
PAUL50	I didn’t think I ever would either. Anyway, forget about Renata for a minute. I was unloading the empties in the yard one day and Mrs. Jackson comes up to me.

SCENE 6. THE YARD AT THE CO-OP DAIRY. 1983.

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JACKSON	Could I have a word, Paul?
PAUL18	Yes, Mrs. Jackson.
JACKSON	It’s 1983.
PAUL18	I know it is, Mrs. Jackson.
JACKSON	Things are changing.
PAUL18	I know they are, Mrs. Jackson. Mrs. T’s seen to that.
JACKSON	Milk rounds are becoming uneconomic.
PAUL18	Are they?
JACKSON	I blame the supermarkets.
PAUL18	They’ve got a lot to answer for.
JACKSON	The fact is, I’m going to have to let you go. Not just you.  All of you. But you’re all young. You’ll soon find something else.
PAUL18	We won’t need to. The Molokos’ll hit the big time soon.
JACKSON	That’s what I like to hear.
PAUL18	What about Renata?
JACKSON	There’s no point keeping her on when there’s no milk checks to count.
PAUL18	I suppose not.

SCENE 7. STUDIO. PRESENT DAY.

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PAUL50	(TO MIC) That wasn’t the only shock that day. It was a Wednesday, so we had a band practice that night. (TO JOHN50) Do you remember? We used that back room at Brightlands Workingmen’s Club
JOHN50	(TO PAUL50) I’ll never forget the landlord’s face when he told us. (IMITATING THE LANDLORD) I’ve got some bad news. It’s 1983.  Things are changing. Mrs. T’s seen to that. This’ll be your last band practice here. We’re closing down Friday.
PAUL50	(TO PAUL50) Then he gave you a note from Janice.
JOHN50	(TO PAUL 50) That’s right. (IMITATING JANICE) Hi, guys. Going solo. See you.
PAUL50	(TO JOHN50) She was the only one that knew the words.
JOHN50	(TO PAUL50) She was the only one who could sing!
PAUL50	(TO JOHN50) Then who should walk in but Renata.

SCENE 8. BRIGHTLANDS WORKINGMEN’S CLUB. 1983.

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PAUL18	Renata! What are you doing here? I thought you were washing your hair?
RENATA	I changed my mind. I’ve heard you’re looking for a singer.
JOHN18	We are. But you’re not a singer, you’re a typist.
RENATA	Janice was a shop assistant.
PAUL18	Do you know the words?
RENATA	Some of them.
PAUL18	That’s more than the rest of us. (TO JOHN18) What have we got to lose?

SCENE 9. STUDIO. PRESENT DAY.

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JOHN50	TO MIC) It turned out she knew all the words.
PAUL50	(TO JOHN50) And she could sing in tune. (TO MIC) A few weeks later I saw an ad in the New Musical Express. I quote, “Unsigned bands wanted. Apply M. Eavis, Worthy Farm, Pilton, Somerset.”
JOHN50	(TO MIC) So we did. It was 1983. Glastonbury Festival wasn’t the monster it is now, but it was getting bigger. Curtis Mayfield and UB40 were headlining. A ticket would set you back £12. Things have changed a bit since then.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) Doing Glastonbury was the high point in the short history of The Molokos. We thought it would get us signed by a major label. It didn’t. It didn’t even get us signed by a minor label.
JOHN50	(TO MIC) It didn’t get us signed at all.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) After that we played a few of the workingmen’s clubs that hadn’t gone under, but the big time that I’d told Mrs. Jackson we were going to hit ... well, we didn’t and the band started to fall apart.
JOHN50	(TO MIC) George left first. Went to the local poly, read Law. He’s a solicitor now.
PAUL50	(TO JOHN50) Then you left to start your own company making computer chips. The rest of us hardly knew what a computer was back then.
JOHN50	(TO PAUL50) Your laptop wouldn’t work without the components I make now. Or your phone. Or your tablet.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) Finally, Albert left. Well, there were only the two of us left – him on drums, me on bass. What can you do with that?
JOHN50	(TO PAUL50) Drum and bass? Not much.
PAUL50	(TO MIC) Albert started his own drumming school – Beat It! he called it. It did well, still does, except his daughter does most of the teaching now – Albert’s hands are riddled with arthritis. As for me and Renata, we eventually got it together, got married and started a family. We’re back in the dairy business now. We run a chain of hipster ice cream parlours. There’s probably one on a high street near you. You can’t miss it. Just look for the sign. Moloko’s.

SeaBee