If there’s one thing that makes me angry it’s people who get angry about the least little thing. 

  Only the other day I was buying some tobacco from one of the few remaining places that still sell it when another customer complained about smoke getting in her eyes.

  “Well, don’t smoke,” I told her.

  “I don’t,” she replied.  “It’s you.  Your pants are on fire.”

  They weren’t her pants, so I don’t know why she was complaining.  They were my pants and I would have to buy a new pair as soon as the fire brigade had put them out, which made me more angry.  And where can you buy just one pair of pants these days?  They come in packs of three, minimum.  Besides, all the stores that sell pants would be closed, it being getting on for 10.00pm – the perfect time to buy tobacco, but not for buying pants.

  When the fire brigade arrived they sprayed me with water, which made me really angry.  If there’s one thing I hate it’s being sprayed with water, or anything else for that matter.  If I were a Formula One driver and I won a race I would tell them not to spray me with champagne.  Save it, I’ll drink it later.

  Spraying me with water also ruined my tobacco, which made me even more angry and by the time they’d finished I’d missed the last bus, which made me really angry.  I was too angry to take a taxi, so I walked all the way.  When I finally arrived back home I found my flatmate watching Look Back in Anger on the tv and he started to tell me what a good film it was, but I was too angry to listen so I went straight to bed, but I was too angry to sleep.  And all this happened because someone complained about the least little thing.